Why do people have to rub my belly? Am I supposed to bring them good luck? I know there’s no genie coming out to give anyone three wishes, or else I’d be skipping the next 4 1/2 months and heading straight to the “bringing baby home” phase.

So. As a general note to the public: hands off the belly, thank you very much.

And while I’m on a roll here, why do people say the dumbest things to pregnant women? Some elderly gal asked me the other day if I was expecting a baby. I, of course, said yes. So far, so good, right? But then she blew it. She asked, “So are you about 8 months along?”

Crap. I look like I’m 8 months? And I’m only at 4 1/2?

Thanks for ruining my entire week, Ms. Random Stranger.